By J. Irving
There are no words that Blue and I can offer that could ever lessen the pain you and Noemi are carrying now, Mistah Nick. But please know that we are grieving with you — thinking of Nicar, of you and Noemi as devastated parents, of the husband she left behind, and especially of little Cara, who will grow up longing for a mother. Even while simply talking about it, my eyes welled with tears, and especially Blue’s.
One thing that gave us comfort was seeing fellow Mapitagans present during Nicar’s wake, surrounding your family with love and reminding you that you do not have to bear this sorrow alone. If Blue and I were there, we would surely be in Tarlac beside you.
My heart breaks for you because I know how deeply you love Nicar. No matter how grown a daughter becomes, she forever remains her papa’s little girl. I understand this deeply myself — my own daughter is already a mother, yet I still answer her lovingly, “Yes, baby ko.” That is how a parent’s love remains: unchanged by time, untouched by age.
I pray that in the midst of this unbearable loss, the love and presence of your apo Cara may somehow bring light into the emptiness left behind. May you and Noemi find strength in loving Cara with all the tenderness and care that Nicar herself would have poured into her child. In caring for her, perhaps a part of Nicar’s love continues to live and breathe every single day.
Nicar was truly special. She had a gentle spirit — compassionate, soft-spoken, thoughtful, and sincere. She loved learning, searching for meaning and truth, always curious about life and the world around her. She had warmth, intelligence, and a quiet strength that drew people to her. She could be adventurous and hopeful, yet deeply caring at the same time. She lived with passion and heart, and those who knew her were blessed by her presence.
The pain of losing her will never completely disappear, because love that deep never truly leaves. But I hope you and Noemi will always hold on to this truth: Nicar’s life mattered, you have given her everything, her love remains, and she will forever live in the hearts of the people whose lives she touched most — especially yours.
Blue and I are here for you and Noemi, even if all you need is someone to stay with you in silence.
I took a peek in Nicar’s Facebook wall and found this testimony at Crohn’s & Colitis Philippines Page that she co-founded. The organization is a dedicated support group and community for Filipinos living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), providing a private space for sharing experiences and resources – offering support. I deemed it necessary that this testimony must be shared . . .
Crohn’s & Colitis Philippines
Dec 7, 2025 •
Hi everyone! I’m Nicar, and this seems like the perfect time to share my personal story as I start a new chapter in my life. Here I am, writing in my hospital room on my 39th birthday.
For the past 26 years, since I first started experiencing symptoms, I’ve lived my life in chapters. I’ve endured numerous unfortunate yet manageable hospital visits, along with a few, I would say, life-changing and death-defying stunts that I ultimately survived.
I have been living with Crohn’s disease since I was 13 years old. My symptoms appeared like clockwork starting in 1999, when I was in my first year of high school. The first sign was a perianal abscess, which was surgically managed. Then I experienced weight loss, joint pains, and was managed as a rheumatoid arthritis for six months with medication. The symptoms did not stop there. I then developed erythema nodosum on my shins and was prescribed prednisone. Soon after, I had low-grade fever and diarrhea, and was losing weight rapidly to the point of being skin and bones, only weighing 31 kg. A CT scan revealed multiple nodes, and I was treated for extra-pulmonary TB for a year and a half with triple TB medication.
We traveled everywhere to see multiple doctors. I have taken all possible medications. I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease in 2002. The doctors were initially hesitant to diagnose because the illness was unfamiliar at the time. It was the first case they had seen like mine. Eventually, after a colonoscopy, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. So, I have been diagnosed with Crohn’s for 23 years.
It’s been a rollercoaster ride for several years. Painful trips to the bathroom, fatigue, malnutrition, anemia, joint pains, abscesses, fistulas, debilitating pain, and multiple surgeries – these have left me broken physically and mentally. I can’t count the medications, l’ve grown tired of the frequent doctor visits, and I want to forget the hospital stays. The longest being a 45-day hospital admission, full of surgeries, procedures, infusions, and everything that could possibly save me. For a teenager, I thought | lost everything. Despite all this, I survived, even though I didn’t think I would.
Two events changed the course of my life. The first occurred when I was a first-year college student in 2004; I suffered severe bleeding and collapsed in the bathroom. The second happened during my second year of medical school in 2009, involving multiple episodes of massive bleeding over three days. I went into hypovolemic shock multiple times, became delirious, septic, and was crashing. This was probably the most challenging experience for my family and the lowest point for me. We were out of options. The bleeding remained uncontrolled for days, and my parents were told to prepare themselves for the worst – that I might not survive. Until the miracle happened-I was given Infliximab, and it felt like magic. Those two weeks were tough, but I regained my life. Because my body crashed, ! had to relearn how to stand and walk. I quit medical school and chose a different path. I later realized that my current profession is truly what I was meant for.
What’s challenging about having a chronic illness, especially an invisible one, is the emotional burden you carry, the broken dreams you have to accept, and the unpredictable future you worry about. And when you think you have everything under control, another setback hits you, and you’re back to square one. But you become stronger each time a big wave hits you. You don’t realize it, but every time you face something difficult, you eventually survive. That’s what happened to me. I have become a different person. I am stronger each time. I see things differently. I appreciate things more deeply.
Remissions are gifts. In one of those, I have the most precious blessing: my daughter.
Another gift that emerged was the Crohn’s and Colitis Philippines Support Group, which I co-founded with three fellow warriors who share the same passion: to unite patients and raise awareness about our illness. Since 2017, we have worked hard to create a space for patients and provide access to specialists. When we realize we are not alone in these challenges, we become more courageous and hopeful.
And so here l am, coming full circle, back in a hospital room, facing another challenge. This time, my nemeses-the abscesses and fistulas-have returned. Having battled this illness for two decades has also resulted in long-term complications for me-painful fibrotic strictures. Once again, I found myself asking,
“Will I survive this?”
After months of discussions and with guidance from Dr. Sollano and Dr. Chang, I decided to undergo bowel resection and colostomy surgery. I am always and forever will be grateful for their patience and care. I am hopeful that this new chapter will give me my life back, once again. I kept wondering whether it would be worth it. I believe it will be. Just a few days in, and l am feeling optimistic about this new chapter. This surgery could be the greatest gift I have given myself.
I am grateful to my family for always being there for me. They have been my rock all these years.
Lastly, I am eternally grateful to God Almightly for never leaving my side.
New life, new me. 🙂
NICAR NOEMI BARTOLOME-RAMOS
06 December 1986 – 03 May 2026
Happy Mother’s Day Nicar! Rest assured your precious ones you left behind will be well taken care of …
May you rest in eternal peace and be in the loving embrace of our Lord …
Classmates, good afternoon. We are planning to go to the wake of Nicar in Gerona, Tarlac in the afternoon of May 8. Pls signify if you are available and willing para daw po sabay sabay tayo:
- Tony & Neva
- Ben & Joy & Jaja
- Ian S
- Gil M w/Tinay
- Paco w/ Baybee
- Herbert/Marivic
- bongda & lisa
- Gil P n Baby
- Ted & Marie
- Bogs and Sionie
- Ager & Len
- Bong & Fe Marie
- Vic & Ella
- Emil & Mae
- Jv & Jojo
- Raffy & Evelyn
- Efren & Irene
- Edmund
- Jeff & Tett
- Rainier & Dolly
- Ed DR
- Raymond & Elena
- Jigs C
- Romeo P +3
- Ome/Daisy
- Arnold P/Ellen/Kids
- Gerry, Emma & Kids
PMA’s Mapitagan Class of 1980 